I am having a dreadful day.  I’m  just so fucking mad.  First of all, at her, for doing this to me.  Second, at myself, for letting it affect me so much.  I was already dreading prom like, times a million.  If there was any chance of me enjoying it even a tiny bit, that’s all gone now.  I’m not going to be able to think about anything for the next week, except what she’s done.  It pretty much ruins everything.

She has no idea how this makes me feel.  I hate her so much.  Almost as much as I hate myself.

I found my one and only, absolutely perfectional prom dress!  I’m so happy.  Me and the two girls I’m going with skipped school on Thursday to get the job done once and for all.  & we were all three victorious!  Who knew that you had to get your prom dress like, wayy early?  I sure didn’t.  I was planning to shop over spring break.  That would’ve sucked.

Mine:

Kt’s:

K8lyn’s isn’t showing up, but it’s super pretty and if you’re so inclined, you can look at it here.  We went to like, a billion specialty dress stores, but me and Kt ended up finding our’s at regular stores.  For cheap.  Her’s was 30 bucks at Dillard’s!  & mine was like, 150 from Deb.  K8’s was slightly more expensive, but it looked SO good on her, that it really doesn’t matter.

& I’ve lost 15.6 lbs.  & even if I lose another like, 5, my dress will still fit well I think. 
So it’s pretty much a win win win.

Haha.  These are my Fantasy Prom Dresses.  I’m pretty partial to the first one though.  It’s got that special ‘princess fairy’ feel.  That’s essential for me.

& I’ve officially lost 14.8 pounds!  So I might actually slide right into one of these babies, come prom.  (Go me.)

So, I’ve been listening to a lot of country music lately.  I don’t know why, but everyonce in a few years, I decide I like country.  It usually passes pretty quickly, though.  So we’ll see.

So, everybody knows that show on MTV called MADE, right?  Well, it’s coming to my lame little school in southern Indiana, to do tryouts!  Someone that I know might potentially be on MTV.  What the eff?  It’s so crazy.  Like, probably the single biggest thing to ever happen to Pike County, honestly.  I’m kind of excited!

The new American Idol starts tonight, which I’m sure you’ve heard about a gajillion times.  I’ll probably watch it.  More importantly though, more new Scrubs come on!!  Woo, I love Scrubs.  & that new Dane Cook, Jason Biggs movie came out today.  I can’t remember what it’s called but I’m def going to have to hustle to the movie rental place and pick it up, along with Pineapple Express which I failed to rent last week.  I’m going to be SO occupied tonight!  That never happens.

Congratulations to me.

So the new Scrubs premiered last night!  I don’t know if anyone else was superr excited about this, but I certainly was! 

I’ll admit that the first episode might have been lacking a bit.  & I could definitely do with out Zach’s attempt at facial hair.  But my spirits were lifted with the second episode, as it was mega brill.  I LOVE the new interns, especially the butch chick, Denise.  She was really funny.  Like when she was talking about having sex with fatties because they try harder.  Hilar!  & I loved the whole thing about Turk stuffing J.D. when he dies. 

One thing that confused me was when the Janitor got fired!?  Is that for real?  He better come back.  Like, get rehired.  I don’t understand.  The Janitor can’t not be on the show.  I don’t know what to say about that.

So, I’ve offically lost 11.6 pounds.  Cool, right?  & I’ve started a new semester at school.  So, all new crappy classes.  Can’t wait for Spring Break.

Well, Rick’s surgery went well.  Turns out, he had ruptured disk.  Whatev, either way.  Not going to pretend like I understand any of that.

The Louisville hospital where the surgery took place was super great.  I love hospitals.  I find myself oddly comfortable in them.  But this one, particularly, was enjoyable.  The cafeteria was awesome!  They had this, like, ‘make your own wrap’ bar thing, and there was all kinds of tasty stuff to put on your wrap, and everything was really fresh and delish!  It’s really sad that things like this excite me.  But, that’s where I spent my Christmas Eve, & I really didn’t mind it. 

Christmas was nice.  Here’s what I got:

Women's Fragrance
Which smells AWESOME.
Untitled
Owl Embossed Tan Italian Leather Journal (6" x 8"), Barnes & Noble - Barnes & Noble
And numerous other lovely things that I can’t find pictures of.
It’s been a weird, but good year.  I’m okay with the weirdness.

Lately, I find myself being attracted to guys that are way older than me.  It’s kind of gross, I’m not sure what the deal is.  But, atleast it’s not way younger guys.  That would be worse. 

Today is officially the first day of Christmas Break!  We have two full weeks off this year, which makes me exceedingly joyful.  We normally only get about 9-10 days off, so I couldn’t be happier.  My step-dad is having surgery in Louisville on Wednesday (Christmas Eve!!) & I get to come for it.  He’s getting a disc in his upper back removed, between vertebrae six and seven.  We’re hoping this makes things better for him.  See, for a few years now, we’ve been trying to figure out what’s wrong with him.  He’s just been gradually getting worse and worse.  He has to walk with a cane now, and he really can’t do anything.  We’ve been back and forth between ALS, PLS, Parkinson’s, Lime disease, and visited numerous specialists in the area.  We’re hoping that this does the trick.  Just a few years ago, he was the most physically fit person I knew!  He always coached my little brother’s sports teams, and went hunting, and rode his bike to work, and pretty much never got tired.  Now he can barely walk.  It’s really depressing.  Everybody hates it for him.  As much as my step-dad annoys me sometimes, he means a lot to a lot of people.  Including me.  I mean, I do love the guy, he’s been a part of my life longer now than my biological dad, and he I know he really loves me.

I had a dream last night that my history teacher had a crush on me.  He was like, flirting with me and coming onto me really bad and everything.  I didn’t really mind it, ya know.  I flirted back, and it was all alright with me as long as he didn’t try anything else.  & he was over at my house, and I was okay with it, we were just being friendly friends.  But, then he kissed me.  & that was NOT okay.  That’s where I drew the line.  I couldn’t have that, & I didn’t want him thinking he could get any further!  So I totally freaked out about it and told him to get out.  So, he left and was walking across my yard, and I opened my front door to like, yell something at him or throw something at him or something and he pulled out a gun and shot it at me!  I think he was mad that I made him leave, and he didn’t want me to tell anyone about the incident.  So he tried to kill me.  Luckily, I slammed the door in front of the bullet, and it didn’t get me.  But after that, I was really paranoid and freaked out.  I thought he was going to come back for me.  I wouldn’t eat or sleep or anything because I was so scared.  So, my friends took me out to the movies to try to get it off of my mind.  But, he was there!  He worked there as a second job.  Haha. So, I hid behind my friend, and was like totally panicking.  There was no way that I could enjoy the movie, knowing that he was in the theater.  So we went home.  I don’t remember anything after that.  Except for that my history teacher had both of his ears pierced, and he was wearing really shiny earrings.  Not sure what that means…

My dreams always leave off where I think they should keep going and I wake up totally unsatisfied.

No school today! Icy roads! I can’t say I’m not totally enjoying it. What do I have planned for this lovely, wintry afternoon?

Well, first, I plan to wolf down some butternut squash ravioli.
After that, I’ll probably veg out on the couch and watch the rest of What Not To Wear.
When that’s over, I’ll probably stay molded to the couch and watch whatever good tele comes on next. That will probably take me through the rest of the day..

Now, I know prom is like a gajillion months away, but I can’t help but think about it.  What will I wear?  Who will I go with?  Will it be stupid?  Will I want to leave early?  What if people try to force me to dance?  How will I say no?

These are just a few of the thoughts swirling around in my mind regarding prom. 

Other thoughts, not regarding prom?:  What’s the deal with Colby O’Donnis?  Why why why do we have to have finals in every class this year?  Does the school board not want us to graduate?  Pot roast sounds reallly good.  & salty broccoli.  Why do I crave meat and salty broccoli all the time? 

But, mostly, I’ve been dwelling a lot on prom.  I don’t even really want to go.  But I HAVE to go atleast one time.  I figure this is the best year to go.  I mean, I don’t have any preconceived notion that it’s going to magical, or the best night of my life.  It’s not like I’m going to be disappointed.  I’m pretty much expecting it to be dreadful.  & I need to go, for the experience of going.  So I can say I went. 

I don’t really want to go with a date.  Because then I will feel obligated to like, dance with them, and hang out with them the whole night.  I plan on just going with Kati, Kaitlyn, and Felicia.  That is if none of them get dates.  It will be much more fun that way, and I can be assured that Kati definitely won’t dance, so I can joyfully not dance also.  Dancing is pretty much the opposite of what I would consider fun.  Especially in a public setting.  I don’t really get why people like it so much. 

As for what I would wear, I have a few ideas.  I know for sure that I want to wear a short dress opposed to a gigantic one.  I tend to think the shorter ones are cuter, and I just imagine them being much less hassle.  I could go simple and elegant:

Topshop - Trim Detail Corset Dress
& I could add like, accessories to make it look more exciting. 
Definitely some fancy earrings:
MobileMe Gallery - Jewelry
Right?!  And some attractive shoes of some sort:
Zoom view of
Woah, those would be brave.
Or I could go sparkly:
All Saints Womens Dresses
& I could wear it with black tights and these similarly sparkly and awesome shoes!:
Pumps - Free Overnight Shipping & Return Shipping
These are just ideas, mind you.  Unrealistic ideas.  I doubt I could even afford more than one of these items at a time.  But, a Prom Crazed Teen Girl can dream, right?

So, I got my PSAT scores today.  It pretty much ruined my day.  I’m not even going to post what I got, because they were just that bad.  Bad enough that I’m too embarrassed to tell a bunch of outside observers who don’t know me, who will never talk to me in person, and who don’t care enough to make fun of me anyway. 

& I always thought of myself as an above-average student.  But the PSAT has proved me wrong.  Apparently, I’m far below average, doomed to fail at everything that matters in life.  I thought I’d atleast have done good on the ‘Writing Skills’ portion.  I mean, there’s not much you can do to screw that up, right?  But I actually did worse on that than I did on ‘Critical Reading’.  Woah!?  I’m not even going to talk about ‘Mathematics’.  I mean, I knew that one was going to be bad, but seriously.  I feel like a LARGE idioticloserretardfacehead.  In fact, that was exactly my thought when I first looked at my scores. 

Oh well, though.  I guess they don’t REALLY count. 

On the brighter side of things, I’ve lost 4 pounds since last Monday!  That’s kind of cool.  It really wasn’t that hard to do either.  AND I’m in the process of reading ‘Wicked’, the 5th book in the Pretty Little Liars series.  It’s good, as far as stupid teen girl books are concerned.  I am a teen girl though, and according to my pre-sats, I’m also stupid. 

And we had a 2-hour delay this morning  because of ice!  I was so happy, I thought I was dreaming.  It was great, I hope hope hope hope that we have one again tomorrow.  Fingers crossed, large!

I’m trying to come up with an intelligent sounding answer to the question,”Why are computers imporant in society?”  If anyone has a good one, let me know.

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